Tired

     Yesterday, October 27 we had a party at our house. We decided a few weeks ago we wanted to do something before it got cold so we decided to have a Brunswick Stew party.

     After we made the decision to have the party, I got to planning on what I wanted to do an how I was going to decorate since we would be outside. I spent loads of time on the Internet (mainly Pinterest) trying to find ways to decorate. I had everything planned out until life stepped in, I QUIT MY JOB. So what was I to do when my budget had been chopped down to $0. I improvised..... I paid my nephews Logan, Jamey and Ben to pick up Pine cones and Pine Straw; total $5.00 (my bribe to them). I dug though my cabinets until I found 10 tea light holders, a couple of vases and 4 dinner candle holders. I had my decorations and was willing to make do with them.

     The week of the party I scrubbed my house, top to bottom. I wanted it to be clean and ready for company. I worked my butt off all week long wanting everything to be perfect. Then the unexpected happened, SANDY. Dear old Hurricane Sandy decided to make her presence known, she moved slowly up the coast finally reaching my state of NC. The weather people called for rain all day Saturday, what were we going to do with Hurricane rain and wind. Luckily I have a spacious 2 car garage. We decided to clean it out and place the table and chairs inside. I begged a friend to bring his Canopy and a outdoor heater. We made the plan that we would place the canopy over the stew cauldron and nix the bonfire we had planned to do.  All day we readied ourselves for the party and rain.

     Saturday night was a success, we had a fantastic time and best of all NO RAIN. We partied hard, of course drinks were flowing, food was eaten and fun was had. We had the bonfire, we had the best Brunswick Stew and a good time. It was exactly what I needed to take my mind off all the crap that had been going on recently. I was able to just relax and enjoy my family and friends, something I have been desperately needing.

C*R*A*Z*Y*

Yep, the title says it all.

     On Monday, October 15, 2012 I did something CRAZY. I quit my job. No it wasn't entirely unexpected but it was sudden. Things at work had been, well strained, for a while now. So while it was CRAZY, it was not bad move. Here's a little back story for you........

      I have worked at exactly 2 places since I have been an adult, both places have each been for a 5 year span, totally 10 years. The first place was basically difficult from the beginning, bad boss, hard to work with fellow employees, etc.... Well I lasted 5 years until I decided I couldn't take it any longer and left that position. For 2 months I languished at home, terrified that I was never going to get another job, alas the day came when I finally got that job I wanted. I went to work for what I thought at the time was a nice, family oriented man; instead I got an ASSHOLE for a boss. It became obvious pretty quickly that he would be difficult when it came to the silliest things. He never wanted anyone to take time off, not sick or vacation. He never took time off and only thought of his bottom line.

Fast forward to 1 year ago>>>>>>

     I needed to have an almost emergent partial hysterectomy (I had developed a massive infection that wouldn't/couldn't be treated with antibiotics.) Per my Dr.'s orders I was to be out of work for 6 weeks, no if, and, of buts. I had messed up earlier in the year and went back to work too quickly after getting my tubes tide (this caused the infection.) I went to my boss(the Dr in my office) and explained what was needed and how long I would be out. You would have thought I asked him to pay for it, he flipped out.

     Being out of work without my income was hard but we made it. I went back to work and things became difficult. Every time I would take time off I would be treated badly for days afterward. As time went on I decided to find a new job and cut my loses with this office. In April 2012 I resigned my position and prepared to start a new job with the local Hospital,. On what would have been my last day a fellow employee abruptly quit, leaving the office very short staffed. Out of the goodness of my heart I agreed to come back and work for another week to help fill in the gap. Long story short I was convinced to stay, thus turning down the job at\the hospital.

Fast Forward again>>>>>>>>>>

     August 2012     I have struggled for a long time with depression and anxiety issues, to put it mildly I hate life. In August 2012 I had a mental breakdown that put me in a mental hospital for 4 days. I was placed there on a medical hold ( thus preventing me from leaving) My boss lost his mind during this time. He threatened to fire me, sue me, etc..... I was a bad person (employee), I was losing him money, I was just trying to get disability, so on and so forth. Stupid me and stupid husband decided I needed to go back to work and find a way to make do with the situation. I lasted until October.

     Now here I sit, cleaning, cooking, selling, blogging, happier. I feel like a brand new person since I quit. It was like something was broken inside of me and leaving there fixed it. I LOVE being at home, I LOVE being here when Katy gets home from school. I LOVE cooking dinner, cleaning the house, taking care of my kids. I had forgotten what it was like to be on my own schedule instead of someone elses. While financially we will struggle we can make it. Harold makes enough money to cover everything, just not leave much wiggle room. We will have to cut back, make smarter choices, be adults. We Can and Will do it. Mentally and Physically I need this, I need the ability to look at my life and see what I want, not what everyone around me wants. I need to be able to relax and live a little.

     With all of this comes this blog. I will make this my journey to a new and better me. You will get to see me struggle, succeed, and be a happier person. My plan is to blog about my life, my family, daily odds and in (food, cleaning, purchases, sells, etc....) Hopefully you will follow me through this and help me come out better on the other side.

     Here's to being happy, healthy and wise.